you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
