oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
