I must be too annoying 4 u.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
