I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
