Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so let's talk penis.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
