"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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