whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
