We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
