haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize