he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
