Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Houston, we have a squirter
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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