Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
