remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
