Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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