I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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