Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
