i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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