am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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