She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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