when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
