Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
