Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
