So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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