you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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