She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
