yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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