I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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