take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
