I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
