I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
