i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize