she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
