It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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