I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
