Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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