in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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