fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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