idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize