I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Found your dick twin last night
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
