My nipple is on Facebook.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
