Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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