Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
