and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
