I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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