I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
