so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
