But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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