thus making me awesome and them whores
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
