If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We need to get me chipped asap
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
