does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize