the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
