By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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