Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
