feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
