did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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