I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
