He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
