i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
