What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
