dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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