remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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