i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
