I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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