So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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