The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
