I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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