South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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